To align with the F-Pattern and plain English writing I simplified the language to make it easier for my audience to understand. One example of it is that I changed “This blog is your go-to spot for all things pet-friendly” to “This blog is about all things pet friendly”. Another change was “This page is dedicated to bringing you the latest news, tips, and heartwarming stories from our café where humans can enjoy delicious treats with the best company” that was shortened to “We we’ll bring you the latest news, tips, and heartwarming stories from our café.” These changes make the content more concise and easier to read.

Another thing I did was add an “Our Mission” section to the revised version, that it provides a clear statement of purpose, and helps readers who are specifically looking for our goals.

The original post is very repetitive, it repeats the idea of adoption and educational content many times. The revised version says this information in a single paragraph.

The original version didn’t follow the F-Pattern, so I changed the layout and the placement of the bullet points according to the pattern’s specifications.

I also added a photo to make it more dynamic.

This article was published by Bark and Brew Dog Cafe — 5672 Mount Royal Drive, Windsor, ON | (519) 756-8907 | http://www.barkandbrewdogcafe.com